Doing the HAPPY Dance!

The past month was really difficult on me. I'm not entirely sure why, but my mood was ALL over the place, I mean literally completely out've wack! All I prayed for, was God letting me get to 'this' point, and I made it, we are offically under two months mark, until homecoming, and I can already tell it'll be a smooth ride. We're so close, I can hardly stand it. I can taste his lips already ;) <---Obviously a girl in need of her man! Haha.

Chelsea started Deployment club, it runs about 6wks. I'm excited and happy for her. It helps her cope with everything that shes feeling, that she herself doesn't even understand. They meet every Monday, until Nov 7th -when she will graduate, and have a Deployment box of everything she's learned and did, for her to give to Daddy when he comes home. It's only day one, but she already loves it, and is eager to go back. As a parent, you never feel like you're doing enough to help your little ones cope, so I'm very happy I was able to get her a slot in this activity.

Gavin has been telling me a lot lately that he "misses" daddy. He didn't really say it until a week ago, while putting him to bed. As luck would have it, I could hear my video chat ringing, and Gavin knew right away and said "DADDIES CALLING" :o) Ohh thank goodness for technology. Gavin hopped out've bed and said he was going to talk to daddy and say goodnight.

It's funny how the two kids differ with the way they handle things. Chelsea is not good at ALL with expressing her feelings and emotions. She either shuts down and holds it all in, or she cries and screams, but doesn't "verbalize" anything. She doesn't know how to put any of what she is thinking or feeling into words. When Jon is able to chat, she doesn't want to talk to him. I mean she says hi, i love you, miss you, etc. All very small talk. But I think the video chat also gets her a little ackward and shy. I've noticed if she talks on the phone she's willing to open up for, and communicate longer, however she's like Jon, she'd rather just ignore it, and walk away. And thats pretty much what she does every time we are able to see him on the computer. Heart breaking for Jon i'm sure, since thats his baby. She means no harm. Gavin on the other hand tells me what he's feeling, and he's so much younger!

I have noticed though, whether Chelsea is talkitive or not with Jon, when the kids are playing, they will "talk" to daddy on their play phone, or "video chat" on their toy computer. So while he is not "here physically" he's still there in their daily life, they still incooperate him in their play, which means they're constantly thinking of him.

I've realized a lot of my emotional rollercoaster lately, may be self inflicted-not purposely, but maybe I have been too sensitive, or over analyzing situations. Although many have said if they were in my position they would've handled things differently, and that I'm dealing with it well. But I've realized I need to be even MORE open minded then I've been. I need to accept people for who they are, regardless if I agree, like it or not. You are who you are, you deal with it, or you move on. But I also think I'm very opinionated, and need to keep those opinions to myself. I'm not always going to like something, I'm not always going to see eye to eye with everyone-thats IMPOSSIBLE. I should also see the bigger picture, and not point out everyones flaws. If there's anything I've learned recently, is that we tend to be upset with things others do, and yet, we ourselves do those very exact things. We're all guilty of judging, criticizing, talking about others (even if it's a good thing), having mood swings, what HAVE YOU, whatever it is, we've ALL done it, for the most part not intentionally. So we shouldn't be so furious with others when you find them doing the same. We've all walked in those shoes, no one is innocent, and we all have a lot to learn and gain from each other. As long as we have the wisdom to see, we can do amazing things. 

I'm pretty much just rambling, sometimes I think I make NO sense to anyone. But it's okay, and I accept that.