We are just days away from deployment #2, and I can not tell you how truly blessed & grateful I am that this'll only be his second tour in what will be 8years of service.
I sure took advantage of him being home for 2 1/2 straight years while stationed in Maryland (well not including training, etc). However, since we've lived in Hawaii that has not been the case. I guess there comes a price with living in paradise ;)
We moved to our 4th duty station September of 09' shortly there after he left for school from Nov 2nd-till Mid March 2010, only to come home and find out he was leaving AGAIN for more schooling in August, he didn't return until late December. It is now May 2011 and he's leaving for yet another 6-7mos. So while people may think I'm ranting and raving, We have only been in Hawaii for a year and a half and as you can see, by the time my husband returns I will have spent more then half of the three years in Hawaii, ALONE. I'm not going to apologize for missing my husband & even begin to explain how to deal with the children begging for their daddy to return home.
I've finally realized that while I do have my ups & downs, highs and lows, I'm feeling sorry for myself, when in reality I should be thinking of how much my children and husband sacrifice as well. As my husband says "I am the one who misses out on things I will never get back with you and the children". Thats when I realized, hell ya I have it tough, I have all these emotions, sadness, anger, & lonliness all while having to contain myself, and keep it together, put on a happy face and be strong for the family, while continuing on with daily life, staying positive, busy and proactive, BUT I get to see my children every day, and have memories that'll last a life time. I get to share countless experiences with Chelsea and Gavin, holidays, birthdays, live altering changes, hurdles, obstacles, I get to watch my children grow, and my poor husband misses out on the majority of it. When he leaves, the entire family sacrifices, but it means so little, when you have someone to love & miss. Most people spend a life time searching for what we have, dreaming of a Husband & Daddy like him. We are HONORED to be by his side, and to wait ever so patiently for him to do his job, fight the war against terror, and follow out his mission as an All American Hero.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I AGREE with everything you said and while they definitely are the ones that miss out on the moments we get, don't take away from yourself. You're allowed to feel all that you feel. I don't know about you but I feel guilty in most of those memorable moments and too many of them I feel like I am just going through the motions. It's hard to compare the two because as a whole the family all misses out. I get what you are saying though, for their country and duty, so much is sacrificed.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful blog post Denise, I will be thinking of your family your children while Jon is gone. Your family is blessed to have a strong mother and a Hero for a Dad <3 They may get frustrated at times but just think down the road, they will thank you for keeping everything going while their father was gone, and they will be thankful to have a Hero for a dad!
ReplyDelete