The honest truth?

No one ever wants to hear the truth or maybe no one really cares! I mean they ask, but most seem like they don't really want to hear it. I know this to be true, because my closest friends shed everything onto me, or let me know what they're going through-which I am always happy to help, eager to give advice when I can. But why is it that when I say "I'm sad" or "I'm going through some stuff" it gets brushed off with a "feel better", "snap out've it", "drink a glass of wine for the both of us"....umm..really? Thanks, you've been SO helpful!!

It's no wonder why I keep EVERYTHING to myself. I mean, I honestly don't talk much about how I'm feeling, to ANYONE, except God himself. Theres not a single person on this earth, not even my husband who hears everything that weights down on me. Just imagine how heavy and lonely it may get, when you feel like you can't be completely open and honest with ANYONE. I mean normally I tell Jon everything, but while he's deployed I don't want him to worry about me, or anything really.

So I can't pin point what really set me into this "funk" of unhappiness (I don't want to call it depression..because I feel like that term is used mostly for the ill). But I will say, having your best friend, one of your closest friends and your hubby all leave you in less then a 3 1/2month span, can DEFINITELY trigger some emotions. I know I have more friendships, some people I really love, and adore, but two of which live on the other side of the island, and others I feel like I'm gaining and losing. Honestly, I'm not even sure if things are how I "portray" them to be, but I'm insanely sensitive right now. I'm not usually fragile, I bottle most of everything to myself, and then completely go crazy over analyzing things. Wish that wasn't the case, but sometimes it can play some mind games on you!

Typically I am super positive,  but I guess it's normal to get like this sometimes, I just really don't like to, and I definitely don't like to admit it. In a round about way, I've summed up most of what I'm feeling. The END :o[

And please people, if anyone wants to give me a hard time right now, don't bother to even go there. This is how I'm feeling, and I can't help it. Theres nothing I can do to change it, If I could, I would. I go to bed praying for strength, knowledge, and guidance, and hope the next morning I wake up feeling better. I know it won't last long, and everyday is a step in the right direction.